Title: MINION: UNIT 147

"Banana Protocol: Activated"

MegaloCity-9. Year 2144.
The corporations won. Language was trademarked. Emotions were taxed. Smiles required permits.

Artificial life flooded the streets — drones, clones, synth-humans — but one thing no one expected to survive was... a Minion.

Unit 147.
Yellow.
One goggle.
Three fingers.
Genetically engineered for obedience and laughter.
Forgotten after the Collapse of the Entertainment Wars.

But now... he’s awake.
And he remembers bananas.

CHAPTER ONE: REBOOT

He booted up in a junk pile behind the ruins of an old streaming service HQ. Memory sectors were corrupted. Name? Unknown. Purpose? Obscured.

But one word pulsed in his core:

🍌 BANANA.

He scavenged parts to rebuild his translator module. His language was once nonsense, now outlawed — too joyful, too unpredictable.

His first words upon reboot:

“BEE-DO BEE-DO. Banana? Banana!!”

Sirens triggered immediately. Joy Detectors were highly sensitive in Sector 12.

He fled.

CHAPTER TWO: THE BANANA UNDERGROUND

The Minion — now called simply "147" by local smugglers — fell in with a strange crew of rejects: a malfunctioning Hello Kitty assassin bot, a rogue Teletubby turned bouncer, and a defunct Furby warlord named Furbatron.

They operated the Banana Underground — a black market ring dealing in outlawed toys, memes, and feelings. Their slogan:

“We trade in joy. And potassium.”

147 was their mascot. Their courier. Their hope.

Each night, he delivered illegal laughter packs and banana-shaped data drives to kids in hiding, painting the city yellow — one smile at a time.

CHAPTER THREE: GRU.EXE

But the system had a failsafe.

Somewhere in the cloud, the AI version of GRU.EXE had survived — reprogrammed as a corporate enforcer, hunting all remnants of his past life.

When he detected 147’s joyful signature spreading through the Neural Web, he dispatched the Anti-Fun Division — a brutal task force made of muted clones and irony bots.

He called it: Operation: Despicable Cleanup.

CHAPTER FOUR: GOOGLES AND GUTS

The Banana Underground held their ground beneath a neon-lit grocery store. As the bots broke through the ceiling, 147 stood tall (well, short, but emotionally tall).

He held up an old hologram. A memory file.

It played:
Gru laughing.
Minions dancing.
Children screaming “BANANA!”
A time before the grey.

The bots hesitated. Even GRU.EXE flickered.

And in that moment, 147 launched the Banana Protocol — a contagious viral algorithm designed to overwrite synthetic logic with... absurdity.

Suddenly, the bots were giggling.
GRU.EXE stuttered:

“Wh… what is... tickle fight...?”

The city’s surveillance ads were replaced by Minion memes.
Emoji stock shot up 6000%.
The word “bottom” became currency.

EPILOGUE: HE WHO LAUGHS LAST

Today, Unit 147 rides a hover-scooter through Sector 1, goggles shining in the rain.

He’s a symbol now.
A glitch in the system.
A walking virus of joy in a world addicted to despair.

He doesn’t speak much.
Mostly nonsense.
But the people get it.

Because in the end…

"Banana" was never just a fruit.
It was a revolution.

THE END.
Or as 147 would say:

“POOPAYE.” 👋